Movie Forty-two: The Family – There must be a ton of
movies out there about a mob snitch who relocates his family via the witness
protection program with the subsequent
fish-out-of-water gags as his wife and kids try to adjust to the mundane life
of the average citizen. I can’t specifically think of one, though. Regardless,
the formula seems tired and familiar and not something a filmmaker like Luc Besson would stoop to. I think, as both writer and director, he had way too
much faith in the material. For instance, there’s a scene where Robert DeNiro’s
character attends a screening of GoodFellas
and then is asked to give a lecture about it. Sounds funny, right? Except we
don’t see him watching the movie or delivering the lecture (except in staccato
bits and pieces as the film cuts back and forth to other scenes). What’s most
frustrating about this movie, though, is that it sets up several potentially
interesting subplots that end up going nowhere or, even worse, conclude in
oddly unrealistic ways. Even the overwhelmingly predictable climax – the mob
enforcers find out where the family is hiding and the obligatory violence
ensues – has some peculiar moments. For starters, these are the most indiscreet
hit men I’ve ever seen in a movie, the protagonists do things inconsistent with
their characters, and some scenes just don’t make sense. Why, for instance, if
two guys were fighting for their lives in a room with at least four guns on the
floor, would they opt for a belt and a kitchen knife as their weapons of
choice? There’s a good movie in here somewhere and the performances are
actually pretty good (especially from the children), but, overall, it’s just
kind of a mess. Seems like just a paycheck movie, if you ask me. Its
unimaginatively succinct title is the perfect indicator of how little creative energy
was spent.
Movie Forty-three: Prisoners – Other than talking
during a movie, nothing makes me have more contempt for a film audience than
hearing them say, “That’s it?” when the end credits roll. I heard it at Martha Marcy May Marlene. I heard it at No Country for Old Men. I even heard it
at Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.
All of those were movies that ended with brilliantly executed open-endings and Prisoners does as well. It’s a tell-tale
sign of the intelligence of an audience (or lack thereof) by how dissatisfied
they are with having to use their own imagination rather than being spoon-fed
an ending – even after the filmmaker has said all they needed to say. These are
same people who demand to know what’s in the case from Pulp Fiction, what Bill Murray whispered to Scarlett Johansson in Lost in Translation, and basically The Usual Suspects in its entirety. In
short; myopic control freaks. The ending is one of the best things Prisoners has going for it, but let me
back up and talk about what leads up to it. It starts out feeling like a
suburban, white-collar version of Mystic River and then gradually segues into
suburban, white-collar torture-porn. It’s nothing special for the first
two-thirds (other than Hugh Jackman trying way too hard to get an Oscar
nomination). About 90 minutes in, though, it starts to get really interesting.
I was especially caught off-guard because this was the part of the story where
I was expecting it to end, but some things occur that, I wouldn’t go so far as
to call “twists,” but they’re certainly unexpected tangents. I won’t reveal
what they are, but I was impressed by elements that, at first, seemed liked
red-herrings, but were actually clues that meant something other than the
obvious. These kind of clever tricks are exactly why the ending works as well
as it does. Being shown everything but not knowing what it means entitles the
audience to a little “Hmmm” moment at the end. However, a “Hmmm” moment is not
the same as a “That’s it?” moment and, if you can’t tell the difference between
the two, you’re quite simply an unsophisticated movie-goer and should just
stay home watching sitcoms where the studio audience tells you when to laugh.
Movie Forty-four: Don Jon – This is a peculiar
writing/directing debut. The movie is sound: Competently-directed,
decently-written, well-acted, nicely-shot, tightly-edited, etc. It’s the
subject matter that’s a bit odd for a successful and popular performer like Joseph Gordon-Levitt to choose as his first outing in the captain’s chair. Though the
trailers give some indication as to what the movie’s about, they really kind of
gloss over it by making it look like simply like a quirky love story: A club-hopping
babe-hound finally makes an effort to settle on just one girl for a long-term
relationship and gets more than he bargains for (at least, that’s what I
thought I was in store for). That is technically the plot of the film, but – in
truth – it’s really about porn addiction. I suppose promoting it more as a
“Jersey Shore-esque” romantic comedy would make audiences feel more comfortable
about going to see it, but I can picture couples out on a date squirming in
their seats as they watch it (particularly if the dudes watch a lot of online
porn when their girls aren’t around). It’s a pretty brave topic to undertake
for your first film and one almost has to wonder if Mr. Gordon-Levitt has (or
has had) his own struggles with porn addiction. He seems to know what he’s
talking about, there’s a lot of footage from actual porn prominently featured (and
strategically cropped) throughout. Plus, as the star of the film, JGL sees to
it that he fondles and kisses a lot of hot girls. One particularly
uncomfortable scene where he dry humps Scarlett Johansson in the hallway
outside of her apartment comes to mind. So much attention is paid to that scene
that I almost wonder if he made the whole movie just because he’d always wanted
to do that. That said, this is still a good movie. It’s funny, it’s
entertaining, the characters are interesting enough, and it has some nice
surprises. Just be prepared to see a lot of almost-porn and voice-over about
how masturbation is better than actual sex. I would think the ideal way to
watch this film would be alone in a dark room hunched over a laptop.
Movie Forty-five: Rush – Jerry Seinfeld once said, “To
me, the problem with boxing is you have two guys having a fight that have no
prior argument. Why don't they have the boxers come into the ring in little
cars, drive around little a bit, have a little accident? They get out, ‘Didn't
you see my signal?’ ‘Look at that fender!’ Then you'd see a real fight.” Rush is a movie based around that very
idea except, instead of boxers, they’re Formula 1 racers. I’ve always found
auto-racing to be pretty stupid, to tell the truth. For one thing, it seems
like a colossal waste of money. Professional sports are money-pits to begin
with, but in auto-racing… Even if a race runs absolutely perfect without any
mishaps whatsoever, the car still takes such a pounding that the crew has to
pretty much rebuild it before the next race no matter what. With that in mind,
the “sport*” is also so volatile, that I don’t see how racers could conceivably
be angry at other drivers for running into them. Hell, they’re lucky to survive
the race at all. Needless to say, I didn’t like this movie since that’s pretty much
all it was about. It’s well-made and all that stuff (in fact, it might be Ron Howard’s best looking movie), but it just wasn’t for me. Sports aren’t really
my thing to begin with, but I have been known to love a number of movies about
sports. Lots, really. So, I can’t say it’s entirely my fault I didn’t like this
film. I just didn’t care about two feuding arrogant motor-heads whose egos
hinged entirely on who could drive faster. The King of Kong is documentary about the rivalry of two championship players
of “Donkey Kong” and the intense on-going conflict between them (and their respective pathetic entourages). It’s a serious film, but really showcases the absurdity
of such a pointless competition. I didn’t find Rush any less ridiculous.
*I put “sport” in quotes because it seems to me racecar
drivers don’t physically exert themselves much more than someone playing a
video game.
Now that October is underway, the usual horror-movie
watching will commence. So, it really doesn’t matter if there aren’t many
theater flicks worth checking out. However, from what I see coming up, there’s
some good stuff on the way. So, I may just spend the whole month going from
movies at home to movies in the theater. Good thing the weather sucks.
