Imagine this:
Imagine you have a young child of about
3 or 4 years of age. Imagine putting that child in daycare. Most of
you are probably identifying with this easily because you've actually
done it.
Now imagine coming to pick your child
up from daycare after a full workday and finding them tied to a chair
with visible bruises, bloody snot running down their face, excrement
in their pants seeping down their legs, and bawling and wailing that
they're hungry. You ask the
caregiver there what happened and this is their response:
“I told your kid it was nap time and
they refused to go to sleep. So, I yelled at them and demanded they
lay down and, when they wouldn't, I threw them to the floor. Then,
they started crying and I told them to shut up and they wouldn't. So,
I stuffed a dirty handkerchief into their mouth to shut them up. They
pulled the gag out and started calling me names. I didn't like that,
so I slapped your kid around. Then they got really nasty and started
throwing stuff at me, so I tied them to the chair and revoked their
privileges of food and bathroom breaks and told them they could just
sit there until they learned to behave. Then I slapped them around
some more while they were tied up just to teach them a lesson.”
Remember, your child is 3 or 4 years old.
You express your outrage and they reply
with “Hey, it's their fault. They brought this on themselves.”
You're so angry, you demand to speak to
their boss. The administrator of the facility hears what was
discussed and says, “I don't believe our caregiver behaved
inappropriately based on what I've been told and I see no need for
termination or disciplinary action. Bad things happen to bad kids.”
Defeated, you contact the Better
Business Bureau with a complaint and they throw up their hands and
say, “Without any evidence, there's nothing we can do about it.
Perhaps you should just take your child to another daycare center
because it sounds like they were causing trouble at the last one.”
Left with no other options, that's what
you do. Then, one day, you come to pick up your child again after work and the
child is handcuffed and locked in a closet. The caregiver says, “Your
kid wouldn't come inside when it was time to fingerpaint. When we
dragged them in, they threw a tantrum, so we beat them with sticks.
They kept making it worse, so we locked 'em in the closet, bound and
gagged. Your child totally deserved it.”
Imagine that happening no matter what
daycare center you took them to. Imagine it happening time and time
again and being met with the same response every time. Imagine
talking to other parents and hearing they had the exact same
experiences nationwide. Imagine there was a group of people (like rich families or something) whose kids acted out similarly but
weren't punished with anywhere near the same severity and, in some cases, not punished at all.
Imagine these are your kids. How enraged would
you be?
No matter what a child does, no matter
how mad, loud, destructive, violent, or unruly a child gets, it is
the caregiver's responsibility to remain professional, deescalate the situation,
and – most importantly – maintain the safety of the child and
other children.
The police swear an OATH to protect and
serve everyone. I imagine the oaths vary from state to state, but the
general gist of it is “On my honor, I will never betray my badge,
my integrity, my character, or the public trust. I will always have
the courage to hold myself and others accountable for our actions. I
will always uphold the Constitution, my community, and the agency I
serve.” I know you just read it, but read it again.
It is not the public's responsibility
to be on their best behavior. It is not the public's responsibility
to be respectful of the police officer's sensibility. It is not the
public's responsibility to keep their feelings and emotions in check.
The police do not get to choose who is worthy of help and who is not.
The police do not get to be vindictive because they feel
disrespected. The police do not get to play judge, jury, and
executioner. Like the teacher, parent, or babysitter dealing with an
out of control child, they must remain, calm, focused, compassionate,
and committed to doing what's best for those they are beholden to
look out for.
A friend of mine who is an attorney
put it perfectly by saying, “Police should NEVER, EVER be allowed
to respond to provocation or violence in the same way as you or I
might if we were provoked. Police have extra-ordinary training,
resources, skills, organization and weapons that ordinary citizens do
not. In a functioning society, this extraordinary might must be
accompanied by extraordinary responsibility. Police MUST exercise
even more restraint and discipline precisely because they are police.
They are not allowed to react emotionally and to lash out with their
superior force. If they do, they are not fit for their job. If the
system that sustains their jobs encourages or allows them to lash out
with their superior force, then the system has failed and must be
changed.”
It's not enough to demand the police
stop murdering suspects, brutalizing protesters, and abusing power.
We must demand that ALL police officers (from incoming cadets to
longstanding veterans) be psychologically evaluated on a regular
basis to ensure they are fit for duty. Anybody with ties to or
exhibiting the behavior of white supremacist groups needs to be
removed from the police force entirely. And that's just for starters.
They need to be held to the highest scrutiny because they can
literally kill anyone at any time, whether intentionally or by
accident and whether they have just cause or not.
People are dying at the hands of those
sworn to protect them. And even if they're not your children, they're
somebody's child.
